Perchance to Dream

Fellow Rhetoricians,

The following is as detailed of an account as I can remember from my dream last night.

So there I was, driving down the highway in a brand new, silver Hummer. I was driving it back to the Mankato area (Madison Lake, to be precise) for its owner -- Matthew Collie. After arriving in Madison Lake, I parked the monstrosity on the street in front of All Saints Catholic Church. As instructed, I rolled up the windows, locked the doors, and left the keys in the passenger-side cup holder.

After this, I walked the three blocks back to my house in Madison Lake. Yes, the house I grew up in...except with a few changes. The house now had a massive underground lair, which was easily accessed through the garage. Once I got down-downstairs I turned my attention to figuring out what I would be doing that Sunday evening. I received a text from Leah, she was wondering if I was going to be coming over (probably for more SYTYCD or other reality show). Naturally, I was torn between going to Leah's for fun and camaraderie or remaining in my kickass underground lair, which was well furnished. My choice? We shall never know...

End Scene 1

The next morning I awoke early to get ready for class. I went through the usual motions: shower, shave, dress, play on the internets; but I really didn't feel like going to school that day. I felt little remorse about this decision, so I'm guessing I wasn't actually teaching in this parallel universe. However, while I was making my decision to avoid school, Emily Heinis showed up and scolded me for not going.

Instead, I went for a walk (also unusual). My path brought me up around the church...where Collie's Hummer was still sitting. I was very confused! Collie had said he would pick it up the night prior; so why was it still here? I looked inside, nothing was out of place. I tried the door -- it opened. I knew I locked the door, so it would seem Matt must have been back to the vehicle. I climbed inside and saw the keys I left in the cupholder remained. So, I decided to take the Hummer back home. Unfortunately, the thing wasn't working right. It kept sputtering and killing every time I tried to start it. After many attempts, I managed to get the Hummer going just enough to bring it back to my house/lair.

I drove the Hummer down-downstairs. Did I mention that the garage entrance to the lair is also garage-sized? I parked the vehicle in what appeared to be a living room-like area, except where there would be furniture and tables, there was just a giant rug...and now a brand new, silver, slightly-not-working Hummer belonging to Matthew Collie. I got out my cell phone and tried to call him; yes, it's at this point that I would try to call him, not before driving/stealing it away. No answer. I try again -- same result. I began to get frustrated at the fact that Matt would just leave the keys to his dumb Hummer in it while it sat on a Madison Lake street...and then NOT answer his phone! Someone then walked into this living room/car stall area; I can't remember exactly whom - either Emily again, or one of my Forensics students. I repeated most of this story to her/him, after which she/he promptly left.

Just as I was about to call Christine, after failing to get a hold of Collie, someone new walked in -- Desiree Rowe. For some reason I was not startled by the fact that Des was now many states away from her current home and wandering around mine. After pleasant greetings, Des asked if I would pick up her Flibber-jibber from campus. Flibber-jibber is the wording I'm using now for the fancy word my mind made up the dream Des used, which I cannot remember. I asked Des what a Flibber-jibber was, she said it was a copy of her thesis. For half a second I wondered why she used Flibber-jibber instead of just thesis, but I quickly moved on. Des told me she had ordered another copy of her Flibber-jibber/thesis to give to her parents. I obliged and told Des I would pick it up the next day. I think some more stuff happened this evening of the dream, but I don't really remember. I believe a bunch of people were around, sitting on huge couches, and watching TV.

End Scene 2

The next day, I found myself driving into campus. As I drove I wondered; will the campus print shop even release a copy of someone else's Flibber-jibber/thesis to me? After all, I didn't order it, so why would they?

THE END